A study shows that our babbies are stupid compared to other species! What can we do?

This article compares the survival skills of human babbies to other species and apparently our babbies are severely lacking in survival intelligence or defensive maneuvers. How can I make my babby intelligent?

http://www.onion.demon.co.uk/theonion/other/babies/stupidbabies.htm

Also, I’m a bit concerned by the mothers who allowed their babbies to take part in these test situations.

14 Responses to A study shows that our babbies are stupid compared to other species! What can we do?

  1. Feed it that new Juicy Juice that has brain booster in it. The commercial says it’ll make your babby smrat.

    me myself and i

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  2. people are stupid compared to most animals. deal with it.

    me myself and i

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  3. I think it’s all about the sprem. You gotta have smart sprem to make smart babbies. I’m truley sorry for our lots.

    me myself and i

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  4. Speak for yourself. My babbies are very smart and knew how to survive on their own within weeks of delivery.

    me myself and i

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  5. calhoonbafoon

    If you are a nerd then you should know how to spell!!

    me myself and i

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  6. Have babies with other species. I once partnered up with a nanny goat and our kid was a genius.

    me myself and i

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  7. Mate with the smart species and hope for the best

    me myself and i

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  8. The Onion is always good for a laugh!

    Gotta love that test situation about placing baby (er…sorry, babbie) in a boat on Lake Erie. Apparently husbands are no smarter, as mine entered a similar situation years ago (also on Lake Erie), and could not for the life of him figure out how to use a cell phone to call home to tell me where he was after 16 hours! Hence, the Coast Guard was called.

    me myself and i

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  9. ♥HEARTS 808♥ TROPICAL BABE♥

    Jili’s right. It’s the Bad Sprem…you hafta find the good sprem donors, MY Babbies would have been able to row that boat to shore, get out and make a call home, they also would have fought off those Wild Dogs! The secret is Good Sprem!

    me myself and i

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  10. queen iceis

    your job- take care of baby
    his job- to be taken care of
    figuring that out-priceless

    me myself and i

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  11. Laura O is a Mummy!

    I guess it’s just lucky that we’ve evolved and don’t need certain ‘defence’ mechanisms.

    me myself and i

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  12. My babby took part in those test situations. I was so disappointed in his poor mental & physical abilities, I traded him in for the chick.

    Proud mum to a smart babby chick.

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  13. ρяìиcєss cαℓì ♥ (вяαγs мσммα!)

    We must make babbies with the worms! I thought of this genius idea years ago… and I tried telling everyone that it works. I told the pregnancy section I was pregnant with a worm babby, and they told me it was okay to have an abortion before 6 weeks, cause my worm babby daddy wouldn’t pay child support!

    Mommy of 4 aborted worm babbies, I know they would’ve been smart.

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  14. Malibu Ken

    That’s because most of us are more concerned with mating with hawt partners than ones with good sprem and eggs. To make smart babbies, you got to get good building blocks: and good sprem is the key. Otherwise you get Miss California… real hawt but can’t answer simple questions worth a damn.

    Oh, and I’m batch number 487004 at the cryo lab for all you lucky ladies needing a smart babby.

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