Tag Archives: alot

So I’ve made some decisions during the course of my life that have, at the time, seemed like good survival choices, but in the long run have turned out to have negative effects on people I love–my husband, my children, my mother. I’ve never been a drug addict or anything that extreme. But I’ve made choices for my life that have led to things now that are affecting people I love negatively. I can’t undo the past–go back and suddenly be good at math so that I would be more confident about going to college, not let myself be bullied or manipulated into choosing not to go to school or be independent, and so forth. And now my family is suffering alot of financial problems that could be averted if I only had just gone to school years ago and just gotten a stupid degree in something that would support us all. I can’t always buy for my kids things they want or need. We have to do without alot of stuff other people take for granted. Small glitches in our life turn out to be huge, distatrous kinds of events (or at least people react that way to them), and we just can’t seem to get out of the hole. If only I’d just gotten a degree in something I could make it better and support my family through this hard time. Instead, all I have are house cleaning skills and the ability to bake good cookies. I can’t figure out how to get what we need to survive and to correct the mistakes I have made in life. I don’t know where to start or how to find my own special niche in life so that I can not just exist or survive, but thrive and help my husband kids to do the same. I don’t even know exactly what I’m asking here.