First, I am newly married (four months ago). Second, we lived together for a year before we were married, but we were both slobs and so we didn’t really get into fights over cleaning…but just because we didn’t clean.
We both do much more now, he takes care of the pets (four cats, one dog daily). Litterboxes, waste pickup, and feeding and taking them out. I do the laundry more often, but he helps. We both shop. But I do a bunch in the kitchen, we are vegan and avoid processed food so spend a ton of time cooking, baking, even baking our bread which takes hours. Plus, I do all the recipe hunting and make up the shopping list. He comes for company.
Lately, we have been getting into spats over the dishes. I think he should do them since I cook every night. I help with them about half the time, but I think it should be his responsibility. But he doesn’t seem to think so, he does them but he seems to resent it. Only when I am helping does he seem okay with doing them and I don’t always feel like it. And we don’t have a dishwasher, we can’t have one because where we live the water is too hard and they break and besides it is an apartment anyway.
So my question is, should I shut up and do the dishes and preserve the peace or stick to my current stance, which seems fair to me, that my husband should be doing them more often then me? We have talked about it, and he seems okay with being in charge of them until there are actually dishes in the sink.
